My Purpose in Life

I hope my title didn’t fool you–I have no idea what my purpose in life is. I have, however, been wondering about it lately. This is an unusual topic for me to ponder. I’ve always liked to plan things out and know where I’m going, but I generally work on a short-term, day-to-day kind of basis. Christopher is the one who likes to plan the long-term future and think about maximizing his potential.  Actually, I think I don’t like to think too far into the future because I hate it when plans change, or simply don’t get realized.  So, for me, thinking about my “purpose” in life puts a lot of pressure on me.  What if I get it wrong?  Or what if I get it right, but don’t live it out?  That’s some heavy stuff.

Well, as I said before, I don’t know my purpose, but I think it might have to do with writing.  Or, maybe writing will help in the fulfillment of my purpose.  People are always telling me about what a good writer I am — either that my writing is entertaining, or that I do a very good job of writing about complicated topics in a way that makes them easy to understand.  Unfortunately, I’m under the impression that I HATE writing.  I suppose it’s because I’ve never really written just for fun.  When I think about writing, I think about having an assignment to finish by a certain date, and writing in a style that will earn a good grade from whichever teacher I’m writing for.  Even now, when I’ve been out of school for 7 years (wow!), the thought of writing essays makes me cringe.  Every time I’ve considered going to grad school for Economics, I’ve always stopped at, “I don’t want to write essays ever again.”  And every time I talk to my friends who are in grad school, and they’re working on papers, I call them suckers and thank the Lord that I’m not in their shoes.

Perhaps writing in my blog more regularly, just for the heck of it, will help me get over my supposed distaste for writing.  Now, I realize that I always seem to write about my goal of blogging more often, and then I don’t post anything for months.  I have hope that this time will be different.  I also have hope that you will help me, and by help, I mean nag.   If you notice that I’ve gone more than a week without posting, I want you to pester me about it.  Remind me that blogging is not essay writing.  It doesn’t have to be a “final draft”, and it doesn’t have to have a specific structure, and it doesn’t have to be planned and researched ahead of time.  I suppose blogging could include all of those steps, but it doesn’t have to.  Which is why it should be fun, right?